Bonsai Fish
by Tomo Trillions
Summary: [liiiight shounen ai] Seven MGS/MGS2 drabbles in an attempt to be amusing. Do tell if I succeeded?


Presenting a seven drabbles, the product of far too much MGS2 crammed into too little time. Each is, in traditional drabble style, one hundred words long. This does contain spoilers for the game, so if that bothers you, don't read on. And, lastly, one or two have slight pinches of shounen ai thrown into the mix—mainly because I can't resist a little dose of Snake/Otacon. 

Even this introduction is one hundred words long—that's really only to keep my total word count even in the document all these were written in—but I think it's kinda funny. 

Tomo out!   


"My flight gets in at eight next Tuesday. Eight. Tuesday. Pick me up. Kay?"   
"..."   
"I left the bills out. Buy stamps, mail them by Friday."   
"..."   
"Don't smoke in bed—and don't forget to feed my fish! G'bye, Dave!" 

Solid Snake analyzed his target, eyes narrow as a bead of sweat split their distance, sliding down the bridge of his nose. He wondered, 'What do fish eat, anyway?'   
Apparently not birdseed, not waffles, microwavable tater tots or onions. If he were a fish, he'd want...   
Well, alcohol of course. Did fish drink beer?   
"Only one way to find out..."   
  


Raiden looked away, shielding his face from the stinging sea winds. Gulls squalled overhead.   
The sun sank peacefully across the horizon as Emma lowered herself down to the oil fence, looking up nervously. He smiled—as the codec beeped for attention. Pausing in the loading of his PSG1, he heard: ["Raiden? You read me?"]   
["Loud and clear, Snake."]   
["I just want to say...be careful. Shit's about to happen."]   
["How do you know?"]   
["Listen to the background music..."]   
["Huh?"]   
["The back-ground-music. Are you deaf? Blind?"]   
["Snake, what are you talking about?"]   
A sigh. ["Uh... nevermind."]   
["Oh-kay...?"]   
["Over."]   
Snake scowled. Damn n00bs.   
  


["Nananana... back in the USSR... you don' know how lucky you are, uh!"] The sound of a SOCOM firing rhythmically punctuated upbeat footsteps via codec.   
On shore Otacon furrowed his brow in concern, tapping his receiver thoughtfully. He listened harder and began to grin.   
["Back in the US- back in the USS-R Yeah, the U-kraine girls really knock me out.. dah dah dah... west behind!"]   
It must be interference, he decided. Nobody could sing that badly. Not even Dave.   
Watching Snake's blip on the radar wiggle suspiciously, Otacon smiled.   
It would be their little secret.   
["Georgia's always on my mah-mah-ma-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-mii-iind...!"]   
  


"Hello?"   
"Mei Ling? It's Dave."   
"Dave! Hi! How are you? Getting along alright with Hal gone?"   
"Kinda. Thanks for the soup."   
"I'm glad you liked it! Did you heat up some rice to go with it?"   
"Mmhmm..."   
"Good! Now, why the call?"   
"Uh, Mei Ling, do... do fish swim upside down?"   
"I'm sorry?"   
"Do fish ... you know... swim with their stomach up?"   
"Ah... not usually. Really, I think that's only if they're...well..."   
"........."   
"........dead."   
"....are you sure?"   
"Yes... quite sure."   
"...damn."   
"Dave?"   
"...damn!"   
"Are you alright?"   
"Uh... yeah. Sorry. Thanks a lot."   
"Sure... I think."   
"See ya."   
"Good luck, Snake!"   
  


Silence reigned and fell in the meticulous apartment.   
"What's this?" Snake asked, pointing out Mei Ling's smallest potted plant.   
"A bonsai tree. Bonsai is an ancient form of Chinese art."   
"A shrimpy little tree in a cup?"   
"Do you know the saying, 'All heaven and earth in one container?'"   
"..."   
"It refers to these trees. All that in one little pot!"   
"...."   
"...Snake?"   
"But it's a tree. In a cup."   
"They're symbols of balance..."   
Mei Ling hid a smile as Snake turned away, scowling.   
"...er... Sorry, Hal. I didn't believe you. A tree in a cup..."   
Otacon just looked smug.   
  


::Patriot_Data_Archives//intercepted_transmission//codec//12/05/03/aa986d.adf ::   
*beepbeep*   
["O-TA-CON!!!!"]   
*beepbeep*   
["You don't need to yell. I'm right here."]   
["OTACON, WHERE THE HELL _WERE_ YOU?!"]   
["Oops! Sorry! I was checking up on my IRC window. I've got some serious mecha anime lined up here. Ten episodes of Gun-"]   
["You mean ... while I was facing painful strip-search by burly men, torture, compromised virtues and death you were downloading robot cartoons?!"]   
["Snake, they are not cartoons."]   
["I almost died!"]   
["You only say that because you don't understand the profound cultural differences that render – "]   
["I hate you."]   
["Someday you'll see the light."]   
["I _really_ hate you."]   
  


"What a fine aquarium... how artistic! You must be good with fish..."   
"I'd like to think that... Honestly, though, that's my fifth pair this year. I go through them quickly."   
"Why in the world...?"   
"It's Dave, you see."   
"Ah... not a fish-person?"   
"Well, he likes them and all. He just tends to kill them."   
"He's killed ten fish? How?"   
"Beats me. I'd try filming next time I'm out of town—but you know how he is with cameras."   
"It doesn't bother you?"   
"Nah—he always replaces them—when he thinks I'm not looking. It's almost cute."   
"A cute Snake...?"   
"Indeed."   



End file.
